goldshirts-tightpants: little-goose: Excuse me but Into Darkness has been out for a week, why are there no posts talking about the fact that Cucumberpatch makes the face that suggests he’s going to steal christmas I mean really I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR A WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT STUPID FACE REMINDED ME OF AND THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. THE FUCKING GRINCH.
fuckyeahclaryfray: Clary: You’re just mad Simon has something you haven’t got. Jace: He has many things I haven’t got. Like nearsightedness, bad posture, and an appalling lack of coordination. Clary: You know, most psychologists agree that hostility is really just sublimated sexual attraction.
arnazingphil: imdonebye: hop-onmytardis: imdonebye: i’m skyping with a cute boy help ACT NATURAL I SACRIFICED HIM TO THE MAYAN GODS WAS THAT NATURAL ENOUGH that was super natural
pantere: do u ever see a boy and think damn you could be a 50,000 note gif post on tumblr
callmekitto: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
sherwat: chrissykilljoybitchtits: inc-omparable: im-fandoomed: hitlervevo: why the fuck cant we text the police lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you Here in Canada you can Here in England we just… scream and run Here in Scotland we paint our...
shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once. oh my god you managed to one up john green.
gaysexistheanswer: hungarian: someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer thank you
jesussbabymomma: jesussbabymomma: is it petsmart or petsmart thanks
What’s this?” he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they...– ― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones (via mejillian)
lornemilee: HA so these guys in the library were joking around and one is like “So when’s our date?” and they started discussing when and where and what. Then they hugged really hard and slowly pulled apart and just kind of stopped a second and the other was like “… you really gonna take me on a date?” and the first guy is like, “Uh… yeah, man I’ll take you on a date.” AND THE SECOND GUY SEEMED...
leeeeverett: today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?” one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
thesockmonkeyrenegade: gracethelostgirl: lovewithyous: carolineflack: HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
gryzio: d-hizzle: oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.
jesussbabymomma: DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7
freckledbuttchester: Misha said Maison is very cute and that she doesn’t seem quite as sassy as West (who will immediately smile and challenge when told not to do something) He sings to her, and they have a closer bond than he did with West at that age. Whenever she cries, he’s the only one who can instantly soothe her, which is very gratifying when people are trying to shush her and he’s just...
getoffmybloghoe: when you lose your phone in the blanket and you just
We are the generation of nostalgia. We grew up in the age of transition. From...– this explains the 90s kids (via thebbcisslowlykillingme)
diverged: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
Currently church-and-chairmanmeow holds first place as my number one follower. We’re married, I’m moving to Canada to live with her once I have my nursing license, and just now: me: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU SAW SOMEONE STEALING TPATS FROM ME church-and-chairmanmeow: KILL THEM
Payment - Malec fanfic by Spun →
bookcollection: A story of the first meeting between Magnus and Alec (that Alec doesn’t remember). This is the fluffiest thing I have ever written and it makes me have so many happy Malec feels :3 P.S. There’s a part 2! You wrote this? :D I’ve been looking for you everywhere on Tumblr!
so my headache has lasted over 24 hours, meaning it’s a migraine now. i’m going to bed and hoping to sleep it off nigh nigh followers
gayoak: (whispers) its a-ok to rely on fictional characters to get you through your life bc life is hard ok if it makes you happy stick w/ it and anybody who says otherwise can go fuck themselves (pets u gentlee)
clockworkpain: malecskiss99: clockworkpain: Alec probably sits and marvels at his witchlight stone now because he’s curious, but also because it was the last thing that Magnus touched besides his lips Well guess who’s gonna cry their self to sleep at night oooh who? Alec or Magnus?
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His...
elvenavari: ryu-gemini: whenever anyone draws anything for me i just I feel this way when people write things for me. I POSSESS THE ABILITY TO TURN ELVENAVARI INTO A COCKATOO. ON YOUR KNEES MORTALS.
brandnewworldstosee asked: The new trend is doing midnight releases at like 9PM. But I might not be able to do my plan for it now because even tho it's going to be midnight on my ~birthday my Mom thinks it will still technically be illegal for me to drive past midnight.